It can be scary and vulnerable to really let go and let yourself be heard. The first hurdle is to just let go of the internal self-talk about how you sound – remember, it doesn’t have to sound like anyone/anything else! So, try experimenting on your own before you unleash your cacophony of sound with a lover! Think of it as a meditation practice: when you next masturbate, consciously try and connect to different sounds and vocalisations. Make the noises that most clearly express exactly how you are feeling in the moment – and if that emotion doesn’t immediately have a sound then be curious, allow your breath to flow, try out a few different sounds and see what connects. Pay attention to your jaw. We carry a lot of sexual tension and frustration in the jaw – allowing softness and a little gap between the teeth will make it easier for sound to flow. The sounds you make will move your attention and awareness around your body. Staying silent is a bit like trying to drive a car without switching the engine on – you’ll have that ‘inside the car’ feeling but you won’t be going very far…
Of course, you can be verbal as well as vocal. If you’re with a partner or lover, tell them if something feels really good, or (perhaps more importantly) if it doesn’t. Expressing through sounds, however, is more primal, involves less thinking and tends to move energy faster and more easily than expressing through words. We can see this in children who are just beginning to learn to speak: they will not typically attempt to express emotions through language. They do it through sound. Think for a moment of a toddler in a tantrum. Typically you hear a lot of sounds, but not many words. And if words are present, they’re simple and to the point, such as “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” Be a toddler with your expression of emotion and sensation.
Many of my clients are silent and still during their first session but begin to notice that with further sessions, and their own individual practice, they begin to relax and sounds flow more naturally and easily. They begin to let go and connect to what truly wants to be expressed, both physically and emotionally, in the moment. The more that you do this, the deeper and more connected your sex (and your life) will become, and the more blissful you will feel as a result.
If you’re still feeling shy about making some noise then send me an email and book in for a session.
Libby
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