Sexological bodywork, sex therapy
and sex surrogacy...
Understanding which is right for you
Sexual support services
Sexological bodywork is one modality of several that are focussed on supporting the health and wellbeing of individuals and couples within the specific realm of sexuality, arousal, pleasure and intimacy. The field is becoming more widely accepted and understood thanks to the pioneering hard work of many practitioners, advocates and teachers, as well as forward thinking and sex-positive shows like ‘Sex, Love and Goop‘ which recently aired on Netflix. There are now several hundred qualified practitioners around the world, whom you can find through the directories of their respective membership bodies: The Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists (ASIS) and the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (ACSB).
Sexological Bodywork...
Sexological bodywork is quite distinct from sex therapy and surrogacy because the intention is to help you learn about your sexuality, rather than on achieving psychotherapeutic goals. It’s the difference between education and therapy. Of course, sexological bodywork can support healing around sexual concerns, and many of my clients find that this approach helps them move more quickly through that process. However, it is not a substitute for therapy. For some people, it complements their work with a therapist.
Sex therapy, whether it includes working with a surrogate or not, gives attention to the past in order to help you heal from it. Sexological bodywork brings attention to your current sexual situation so that you can build the skills to meet your goals. It’s similar to coaching, because the focus is on getting you from where you are to where you want to be, rather than unpacking how you got here.
Sexological bodywork sessions can involve touch from the practitioner to the client, but not the other way. All touch within these sessions…
– is agreed upon in advance (ensuring it’s within the client’s boundaries)
– is guided by the client (they are encouraged to make adjustments and state their desires)
– done within the parameters of strict hygiene protocols (i.e. gloves are worn for all intimate/genital touch)
Sex therapy...
Sex therapy is pretty much like other kinds of work with a therapist, but the focus is on whatever concerns or questions you have about sexuality. Sex therapists are more trained to work with these issues than most other therapists, but the nature of the experience is similar – you talk with your therapist to work through whatever comes up. The therapist might suggest things to try at home and talk about next time, but experiential learning does not take place during the sessions.
Sex therapy does not include any kind of touch between practitioner and therapist. Many therapists work with a ‘somatic’ approach though, which means they guide their clients to pay attention to physical and emotional sensations they are experiencing in the moment.
Sex surrogacy...
Sex surrogacy takes a slightly different approach. A certified surrogate works with a therapist to help clients build their awareness of and skills with physical and emotional intimacy. The surrogate and the therapist develop a plan and series of practices to support the psychotherapeutic goals that will best serve the client. The purpose of sex surrogacy is therapeutic, although of course, learning is a big part of that.
Sexual surrogacy work can include mutual touch between practitioner and client, including (in some cases) full penetration and sexual interaction.
These definitions were taken from an excellently written and explained article by Charlie Glickman (a fellow Sexological Bodyworker).
If you are interested in booking a sexological bodywork session please get in touch via email on libby@sexcoachinguk.com
Libby
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