Whether you’re single & dating, have been in a relationship for 5 minutes, 5 years or 5 decades, you’ve probably got some fairly ingrained ‘go to’ patterns for sex and intimacy: tried and tested ways of connecting that you feel comfortable with or that you know both you and your partner enjoy. When you want to have better sex, where do you start?
I have tried various things over the years to try and reduce the effect of endometriosis on my body and my life. The first major improvements I experienced were through changes in my diet. I’m also going to talk in this blog about how abdominal and genital massage – from trained practitioners and my own hands – have further aided me in maintaining a relatively pain-free relationship with my womb and my menstrual cycle.
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common issues that my male clients bring to sessions. It’s often also expressed as ‘wanting to delay ejaculation’ or ‘a desire to have more choice around the ejaculatory response’. To give you a starting point, here is my guide to working with PE.
Sex therapy is pretty much like other kinds of work with a therapist, but the focus is on whatever concerns or questions you have about sexuality. Sex therapists are more trained to work with these issues than most other therapists, but the nature of the experience is similar – you talk with your therapist to work through whatever comes up.
Breath is the foundation of a healthy, embodied, self-regulating state. Conscious connection to the breath (noticing howyou are breathing and where you are breathing in your body) is like an automatic switch for the nervous system to relax and slow down.
Do you find it difficult to vocalise your pleasure? Are your ‘sex sounds’ short, breathless and strained, or perhaps just non-existent? Many people learned to masturbate silently – particularly if you lacked privacy or were raised in a home that viewed sex or masturbation as bad or wrong. This unconscious conditioning around sex sometimes means that, as adults, it’s difficult to relax and explore pleasure and affection in an open and vocal way.