Anal massage involves touching, massaging, exploring and enjoying the area of your anus (your arsehole). It can include only external touch, or can also involve internal prostate massage (more about that in a bit). A good anal massage will involve touch and attention given to the buttocks, the base of the spine, the hips, the tops of the thighs, the butt crease, the perineum and the anal sphincter itself. Anal massage can be incorporated as a wonderful part of masturbation and self-pleasuring but can also be beneficial for things like hemorrhoids, pelvic pain, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
Prostate massage involves inserting your finger (or fingers) into your arsehole to directly stimulate the prostate gland. Prostate massage can be done for purely medical reasons (i.e. to relieve the symptoms of prostatitis, an enlarged prostate or urinary tract issues) but is, for many people, used to achieve arousal, enhance erections and access orgasm. It can be a very normal (and pleasurable) part of a healthy relationship with masturbation and arousal.
Integrating anal touch (anal play/arse play) into your solo-sex and masturbation can be an exciting, sensation-full and extremely pleasurable part of masturbation and partnered sex. As an aside, I personally would not fully trust any male lover to penetrate me who had never himself experienced penetration. There’s a level of empathy and skill as a lover that is gained when you know how to surrender, and how it feels to be penetrated. So guys, learning to love your arse will make you a better lover. Do you need any more reason than that?!
Anal stimulation and penetration will take your orgasmic experience to another level. The prostate is essentially the male G-Spot and, believe me a G-spot orgasm is WAAAAAAY juicier than just a clitoral orgasm. When stimulated properly it can intensify your orgasm to a more long-lasting and full bodied experience.
Other benefits include:
The idea of anal play can bring up a lot of mental, emotional and physical resistance. There’s often a lot of taboo and shame surrounding anal pleasure, predominantly linked to the mistaken idea that enjoying sensation in one particular area of your body (your arse) unequivocally makes you attracted to other men. This is utter nonsense. The gender of the people you are attracted to has nothing to do with your arsehole. I have worked with literally thousands of straight men and most of them have at least been curious about anal massage. Don’t believe me? Here’s an insightful article from askmen.comdetailing the experiences of 12 straight men. The good thing about arseholes is that we all have them – anyone can experience and enjoy the sensations and pleasure!
Why does it feel so good? As I’ve already mentioned, anal massage hits different nerve endings and a different route to the pleasure centre of your brain. Stimulating these different nerve endings makes the arousal and sensation feel ‘fuller’, more ‘layered’, less ‘one-dimensional’ than just stimulating your penis. By stimulating the anal sphincters and internal walls of the rectum you are also accessing the smooth muscle fibres of the body which connect to your digestive system and enteric nervous system. This has a beneficially relaxing effect on your WHOLE body. As one of my clients put it…’it’s like a knot of stress, anxiety and tension deep, deep inside my subconscious is being undone…like letting go of a weight I didn’t realise I was carrying’.
The prostate gland is located just below the bladder, at the front of the rectum. It’s about the size of a walnut and surrounds the urethra as it exits the bladder. If you are lying on your back, insert your middle finger into your anus with your palm facing upwards. Keep the pad of your finger flat against the top wall of your rectum, pressing gently towards your pubic bone. How deep you have to insert your finger will vary from guy to guy but generally it can be anywhere from the first knuckle (about an inch) to the second knuckle (up to 3 inches). Gently apply pressure with the pad of your finger, the same amount you might apply to your eyeball through your eyelid. Initially there may not be a lot of sensation here: it may be numb or just feel like a general sense of pressure or fullness. Sometimes it can feel a bit like needing to pee, because of the connection to the urethra and the bladder. Being aroused makes your prostate swell, so the more turned on you are before you start internal massage, the easier it’ll be to feel.
Remember when you were little and you shoved a small wad of paper up your nose and then had to go to A&E to get it removed? No? Just me then… Well, there is a risk of the ‘adult’ version of this happening to you if you start experimenting with putting things in your arse. Unlike the vagina where there isn’t much room for something to get lost, your anal sphincter muscles can suck up small items and they can become lodged in your colon. That’s why the best approach is to start exploring with your own fingers. If you do move on to using toys just make sure that they are arse-specific. Generally, anything that is designed to go in your arse will have a handle, or a flared base for easy removal. Buying from a website like lovehoney.co.uk or uberkinky.co.uk or prowler.co.uk makes things simple as everything is categorised for you.
The tissues in the lining of your rectum are very delicate and can be really uncomfortable if scratched, abraded or torn. So this is why I advise you to use lots, and lots of lube or oil for anal massage – do not scrimp on the lube! It’s also a good idea to either a) trim and file your nails, or b) purchase some latex free nitrile gloves (latex-free means you can use oil with them).
On the whole, if you follow these two rules and always go slowly, breathe and relax then there is no danger involved.
To begin, do your preparation: take a shower or a bath and get your body nice and warm and relaxed. Read my ‘Rosebud Massage’ blog for some tips on anal hygiene.
Prepare your space with a towel, pillows, lube, gloves and anything else you might need.
Good positions for self-anal massage are:
For a detailed guide to anal and prostate massage, sign up to my mailing list and receive your free anal massage pdf. The pdf takes you through 12 delicious techniques for external and internal anal massage that you can use during masturbation AND with a partner!
You can also email me on email@example.com to book virtual coaching sessions where you can learn more about self-anal massage and be guided through your explorations.